“捕猎”女性、鼓励自杀：PUA背后，中国的性别不平等

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“捕猎”女性、鼓励自杀：PUA背后，中国的性别不平等

袁莉2019-12-30 16:43:07
Sign up for NYT Chinese-language Morning Briefing.[欢迎点击此处、或发送邮件至cn.letters@nytimes.com订阅《纽约时报》中文简报。]“You’ve given your best thing to another man,” he texted her, referring to her virginity. “I’m left with nothing.”“你把最美好的东西奉献给了另一个人，”他发消息给她，意指她的童贞。“我这里，什么都不剩。”She texted back: “I’ve said my best thing is my future.”她回复说：“我说过我最美好的东西是我的将来。”“You’re shameless,” he lashed out, calling her a “stinking idiot” and a “slut.”“你真不要脸，”他大发雷霆，叫她“傻逼”、“荡妇”。“I want you to get WTO (World Trade Organization) with me then get an abortion,” he said.“你为我怀一个孩子，然后去把他打掉，”他说。On Oct. 9, the woman, referred to as Bao Li, the Chinese equivalent of Jane Doe, tried to commit suicide. She has since been declared brain dead.10月9日，这位名叫包丽（化名）的女性试图自杀。此后被宣布脑死亡。One of her last messages to the man: “You’re dazzling while I’m a piece of garbage.”她发给这个男人的最后一条信息是：“遇到了熠熠闪光的你而我却是一块垃圾。”Her tragic story shocked the Chinese public. A hashtag referring to screenshots of her text exchanges got nearly 1.4 billion views in just two days on the social media platform Weibo before it was censored.她的悲惨故事震惊中国公众。在短短两天内，她微信截图的主题标签在微博上就获得了14亿的阅读量，该标签后被审查删除。Many people could not fathom how an undergraduate at a prestigious school, Peking University, could end up in such a toxic relationship. Many also did not know that there is a name for men who often use such cruel tactics in pursuit of women: PUAs, or pickup artists.许多人无法理解北京大学这所名校的本科生，怎么会陷入这样一段有毒的关系中。许多人也不知道，经常使用这类残酷手段追求女性的男人有个专用名：PUA(pickup artist)。In China, the English initials PUA refer to both the man and his manipulative techniques. Pickup artists often employ gaslighting, a form of psychological control intended to make someone question her own sanity. Friends of the Peking University student and many online users believed that her boyfriend, Mou Linhan, a fellow student, had used such techniques.在中国，英文缩写PUA既指这样的男人又指他的操纵技巧。PUA经常使用“煤气灯操纵”(gaslighting)，这是一种心理控制手段，旨在使对方质疑自己的理智。这名北大学生的朋友和许多网友认为，她的男朋友、同校同学牟林翰，使用了这种方法。“Many of the details of their relationship reminded us of the notorious PUA,” her friends wrote in a long social media post that included screenshots of chat messages between the couple.“其中多处细节更是让人不禁联想起臭名昭著的PUA，”她的朋友发在社交媒体的一个长篇帖子上写道，其中包括这对恋人的聊天记录截图。“After a long time of mental abuse, including cursing, humiliation and vilification, she was filled with pain and fear and lost the ability to push back,” they wrote.他们写道：“经过长时间的精神暴力（包括谩骂、侮辱、诋毁等），她内心痛苦又害怕，却已经丧失了反驳的能力。”PUA as a concept came to China from the United States. Chinese men translated what is widely considered a bible of the pickup artist community, “The Game: LIBOR (London Interbank Offered Rate)ing the Secret Society of Pickup Artists,” by Neil Strauss, and began sharing his seduction tricks. (Mr. Strauss did not respond to a request for comment.)PUA这个概念是由美国传入中国的。中国男性翻译了被把妹达人普遍视为圣经的尼尔·斯特劳斯(Neil Strauss)的《把妹达人：深入把妹达人的秘密社团》，并开始分享他的勾引技巧。（斯特劳斯未回应置评请求。）Over the last decade, it has become a big business in China. Thousands of companies and websites catering to the pickup community and offering dating advice for men have cropped up. One of the biggest websites, Paoxuewang, said it had nearly two million members before it was shut down in 2018. At its peak in late 2017, Langji, the most-well-known PUA company, employed a staff of about 400 and had nearly 100,000 students, according to Chinese news reports.在过去的十年中，它在中国成了一门大生意。出现了数以千计的公司和网站服务于把妹群体的需要，并为男性提供约会建议。其中最大的网站之一泡学网表示，它在2018年关站前有近200万会员。根据中国的新闻媒体报道，在2017年底的鼎盛时期，最著名的PUA公司——浪迹雇佣了大约400名员工，拥有10万学员。It is not clear whether Mr. Mou had enrolled in any such programs. But WeChat Index, which monitors the popularity of topics on WeChat, China’s biggest social media platform, indicated that mentions of the term “PUA” soared nearly 1,700 percent overnight after a news article about the woman’s attempted suicide spread across the internet.尚不清楚牟林翰是否参加过这类培训。但监测中国最大的社交媒体平台微信上话题受欢迎程度的微信指数指出，在该女子自杀未遂的新闻报道传出后，一夜之间提到“PUA”一词的人数猛增了近1700％。In interviews with Chinese news outlets, Mr. Mou said he had not tried to manipulate his girlfriend psychologically and did not know what mind control was.牟林翰在接受中国新闻媒体采访时说，他并没有从心理上试图操纵女友，也不知道什么是精神控制。Some of the companies and websites geared toward men and dating provide common-sense lessons. They advise dressing nicely, holding doors for women and being considerate in relationships.一些针对男性和约会的公司和网站提供常识性课程。它们建议穿着要得体，为女性开门，并在恋爱中做到贴心。But the more nefarious teach men to manipulate women for their own Forex and Stock Speculatingual needs. They dismiss the concept of Put option love, instead promoting the idea that men should sleep with as many women as possible and dominate them completely.但有些较为恶毒的则教男人如何操控女性以满足自己的性需求。他们摒弃了浪漫爱情的概念，而是提倡男人应该睡尽可能多的女人，并完全主宰她们。One widely circulated curriculum offers a chapter-by-chapter guide to achieving such goals. It includes methods of destroying a woman’s self-esteem, setting emotionally manipulative traps to prevent women from leaving, pressuring women to change their personalities to become more compliant, encouraging suicide, and exploiting women financially to buy cars and homes.一种广为流传的课程提供了实现这些目标的逐章指南。它包括摧毁女性自尊的方法，设置情绪操纵陷阱以防止女性离开，迫使女性改变性格变得更加顺从，鼓励自杀以及在经济上剥削女性购买汽车和房屋。“Then you will be on your way to the top of the world,” the guide reads.该指南写道：“那么你将达到世界之巅。”The popularity of these programs reveals deeper societal issues. China is a highly patriarchal society, where men rarely face scrutiny for Forex and Stock Speculatingual assault and harassment, while women are routinely criticized for their age, weight, virginity or any number of perceived failings.这些培训的流行揭示了更深层次的社会问题。中国是一个高度父权社会，男人极少因性侵犯和性骚扰受到审查，女性却常常因年龄、体重、童贞或其他被看作缺陷的事情受到批评。“Can PUA explain such tragedies?” Fang Kecheng, an assistant professor of journalism at the Chinese University of Hong Kong, wrote in a blog post about Ms. Bao’s suicide attempt. “If we expose PUA’s usual tricks, are we sure that such things won’t happen again?”“PUA真的足以解释这样的悲剧吗？”香港中文大学新闻学助理教授方可成在一篇关于包丽自杀的博客文章中写道。“如果戳穿了PUA的常用套路，真的就能避免这种事情的发生了吗？”He says the root lies in China’s gender inequality. “PUA is an easy scapegoat,” he said. “Focusing on it simplifies the complexity of the tragedy.”他说，根本原因在于中国的性别不平等。“PUA只是一个容易找到的替罪羊，”他说，“对它的关注简化了悲剧的复杂性。”Some PUA programs seek to capitalize on that inequality, openly teaching misogynistic techniques.一些PUA培训试图利用这种不平等，公开地教授贬抑女性的技巧。In one program run by Langji, the teacher, Wang Huanyu, held out the prospect of sleeping with three women in a day, as he claimed to do. “That’s the life of a professional PUA,” he told students, according to a three-part documentary produced by a Chinese news site, The Paper.在浪迹开办的一项培训中，培训师王环宇提出，可以像他那样一天睡三个人。根据一部由中国新闻网站澎湃制作的分为三部的纪录片，他告诉学员：“就这样安排，职业选手嘛。”“I’m the best PUA in China,” Mr. Wang told the class. “Chat up girls on the street in an hour.”“我们是中国PUA的领头羊，”王环宇告诉全班同学。“一个小时街搭女生。”“Take them directly to a hotel,” he continued in the undated video.“直接带去酒店，”在未注明日期的视频里，他还说。In a series of YouTube videos, Mr. Wang, who is also a co-founder of Langji, demonstrates how to make Forex and Stock Speculatingual advances toward women — seeking consent is discouraged. In a 2016 video, he explained what to do when women say “no.” “The best way to prevent the girls from rejecting you is not asking the question ‘Can I hold your hand?’” he said.作为浪迹网的联合创始人之一，王环宇在YouTube上的一系列视频里展示了如何对女人实施进一步性行为——征求同意是不受鼓励的。在2016年的一段视频里，他解释了当女人说“不”时该怎么做。“最好的防止妹子拒绝你的方式，就是不要去提这个问题：我可以牵你的手吗？”他说。He recommended against telling women where they were going when the man had Forex and Stock Speculating in mind. “You don’t need to ask them, ‘Can I take you home?’” he said. “Just take them to a private space.”他建议男人想做爱的时候，不要告诉女人他们要去哪里。“你不用说，不用请求。直接把她们带到一个私密空间，”他说。If a woman is not willing to have Forex and Stock Speculating, Mr. Wang suggested a solution in Chinese that can best be translated as persistent harassment. He also told his YouTube audience to initiate Forex and Stock Speculating at 3 a.m., when women were sleepy and vulnerable.如果一个女人不愿意发生性行为，王环宇提出的解决办法无异于持续骚扰。他告诉他的YouTube观众，可以在凌晨3点开始做爱，那时候，女人们已经昏昏欲睡、脆弱不堪。“Tuidao,” or push down in Chinese, a euphemism for having Forex and Stock Speculating, is the ultimate goal, he told the students. “How many have you tuidao?” he asked a thin Newbie trader man in glasses in the documentary. “Sixteen in seven days,” the man responded.他对学生们说，最终的目标是“推倒”，这是做爱的委婉说法。“你推倒几个了?”在片子里，他问一个戴眼镜的瘦小伙。“7天16个，”男人回答。Mr. Wang’s company would become a standard-bearer for the industry. In 2016, it was named a pioneering education institution by a Chinese online video platform, iQiyi.王环宇的公司本可以成为这个行业的旗手。2016年，它被中国在线视频平台爱奇艺评为年度在线教育先锋机构。The government started to crack down on PUA companies in the last two years, and Mr. Wang and his company became targets. Last year, he served 37 days in jail for spreading Growth stock and Currency Trading Techniqueographic products. After the outcry over Ms. Bao’s suicide attempt increased scrutiny of the industry this month, the company deleted all the content on its official website and posted an apology letter, saying it had done “many bad things.”过去两年里，政府开始打击PUA公司，王环宇和他的公司成了目标。去年，他因涉嫌传播淫秽物品入狱37天。本月，对包丽自杀事件的强烈抗议令这个行业受到了更多审视，随后，该公司删除了官方网站上的所有内容，并发布了一封道歉信，称自己做了“这么多坏事”。Four students sued Langji in 2018 for teaching unethical content, including seducing women for Forex and Stock Speculating through manipulative and controlling means, according to court verdicts. A court in the southwestern city of Chengdu, where Langji is based, ruled this year in their favor and ordered the company to refund their tuitions, between $1,000 and $4,250. Mr. Wang and his co-founder declined to be interviewed.法院判决书显示，2018年，四名学员控告浪迹传授不道德内容，包括通过操纵和控制手段引诱女性发生性行为。今年，中国西南部成都市的一家法院做出了对学员有利的裁决，命令该公司退还学费，金额在7000元到3万元之间。王环宇及其联合创始人拒绝接受采访。The police in the eastern province of Jiangsu announced in May that they had arrested a man who ran another program that taught men to encourage women to commit suicide, abuse them emotionally and treat them as “pets” and “prey.” The man was detained for five days and fined over $7,000. His websites and social media groups have been deleted.今年5月，江苏省警方宣布逮捕了一名男子，此人曾主持另一个课程，教导男性鼓励女性自杀、在情感上虐待她们，并把她们当作“宠物”和“猎物”。这名男子被拘留5天，罚款5万元。他的网站和社交媒体群已被删除。Such programs are an outgrowth of the uneven balance of power in China. The country’s economic growth in the last 40 years has benefited men much more than women. The World Economic Forum’s Global Gender Gap Report 2020 ranks China at 106, falling from 63 in 2006.这些课程是中国两性权力失衡的结果。在过去40年里，这个国家的经济增长令男性比女性受益更多。世界经济论坛(World Economic Forum)发布的《2020年全球性别差距报告》(Global Gender Gap Report 2020)将中国排在第106位，低于2006年的63位。Chinese women are better educated than before, yet they have fewer opportunities. They are still largely judged by whom they marry.中国女性的受教育程度比以前高了，但她们的机会却变少了。人们对她们的评价主要还是依据她们嫁给谁。After I asked on Weibo if any women had boyfriends who followed PUA techniques, two Newbie trader women contacted me. Neither of them was sure that her former boyfriend had actually studied PUA strategies, but both identified with the student who had tried to commit suicide.我在微博上问有没有哪个女生交往过的男友是PUA学员，两名年轻女性联系了我。两人都不确定自己的前男友是否真的学习过PUA，但两人都认为自己和那个试图自杀的女生有相似之处。One of them, Amy, from Sichuan Province, said her ex-boyfriend had been very sweet in the beginning, then had started criticizing her for the smallest things. During their three-month relationship, he kept saying she needed to get married and have children as soon as possible since she was too old at 30.其中来自四川的艾米说，她的前男友一开始很贴心，然后就开始为一些鸡毛蒜皮的小事批评她。在他们三个月的恋爱关系中，他一直说她需要尽快结婚生子，因为她30岁了，已经太老了。“He called me his husky and asked me to call him master,” according to the woman, who said she was scared to use her full name because of fears of retribution by him.“他说我是他的哈士奇，还让我叫他主人，”这名女性说。她说自己不敢用全名，因为害怕他的报复。The other, Kate Zhang, said she and her ex-boyfriend had been high school sweethearts in Shanghai. The trouble, she said, began when he left to go to a top university in Britain, while she left for a school in the United States.另一位名叫凯特·张的网友说，她和前男友在上海是高中时的情侣。她说，麻烦始于他去英国上一所顶尖大学，而她去了美国的一所学校。Ms. Zhang said he had become much more domineering, telling her that she needed to lose weight and was a toxic person. They fought all the time on WeChat, just like the couple at Peking University, she said, adding that he similarly told her to get WTO (World Trade Organization) and then get an abortion. When she told him that she wanted to kill herself, he said, “Go ahead.”张女士说，他变得更加专横跋扈，说她需要减肥，是个有害的人。她说，他们一直在微信上吵架，就像北京大学的那对情侣一样。她还说，他也告诉她，让她先去怀孕，然后再堕胎。她说自己想自杀，他说：“你可以去死了。”Both women are going to therapy. Both said they were not sure if they could trust men in their future relationships. It was a sentiment echoed by the student at Peking University before she tried to commit suicide.这两名女性现在都在接受心理治疗。两人都表示，她们不确定在未来的恋爱关系中能否信任男性。北京大学那名女生在自杀前也有这样的想法。“When I think of love now,” she texted, “I can’t help but sRisk aversioner.”“我现在想一想爱情，”她发信息说，“我都觉得不寒而栗。”袁莉为《纽约时报》撰写“新新世界”专栏，专注中国及亚洲科技、商业和政治交叉议题。欢迎在Twitter上关注她 @liyuan6。翻译：纽约时报中文网点击查看本文英文版。

Source: “捕猎”女性、鼓励自杀：PUA背后，中国的性别不平等